This guy makes me feel just a little thinner today.
About
I'm a comedian living in Los Angeles, CA. I like to make people laugh and write things. I can make you laugh or write things for you. Go ahead and try me.
Things I Do
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Alrighty then.
For some reason, I have a large chunk of fingernail missing in the middle.
Someone wiped a booger above my elevator in my building.
Could these savages please stop standing so close to my car? Thanks.
"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been rude to you on your birthday. I know it’s one of your last ones."
— Me to an old lady interrupting during my show last night
"We never did it up in the ass, so I know."
— Precious’ mom, when Precious asked her how she knows she doesn’t have the AIDS virus.
Sometimes these things just write themselves.
